Reflection in the Mirror – You are Enough: A Journey of Empowerment and Healing

From Overcoming Adversity to Empowering Others: Discovering the Power of Affirmations and Self-Reflection

Kristen MacDonald

I will start by sharing a bit of a background about my life and how my book came about.

It has not always been an easy life for me - there have been many, many challenging times, both throughout my childhood and my adult years.

Growing up, going to high school, I was bullied a lot, I did not have the confidence, the voice to speak up and say it was not okay, kids just walked all over me and said cruel things. 

Leading into my adult years, I had the hope that maybe one day I would meet someone, fall in love, get married and maybe even have children. After all, this is what life is about, finding your special someone and sharing a life with them. 

I did meet who I thought was the man of my dreams, the perfect fit in my life and we eventually got engaged and married and then had children. 

For many years it was happy and all I had dreamed about, until, these beautiful happy times with my husband started to turn into not so beautiful and not so happy times. 

I could not believe that my kind, caring husband was now someone I did not even know. He was controlling, manipulative, bullying and, yes, abusive. Where had the man I married gone? Unfortunately he had gone, gone far away.

It was tough and I struggled a lot to understand what had happened to my life.

Many more years went by before I had the courage to stand up for myself and leave my marriage, it was not easy, in fact I was now on the road from hell. 

My husband packed his bag and left and I now had to start lawyer proceedings and custody of our children.

I had 10 years of share care with my ex, it was a nightmare, and he made every little thing feel like a huge mountain I had to continue to climb each time.

It was during these 10 years, I met my second husband, a kind, caring, loving man who I am still married to this day.

As more time passed and my three children became adults, they all went to live with their father. My ex had turned them against myself and my husband. 

After hitting rock bottom from all of this, I picked myself back up and worked for a cosmetic business for nine years, before starting my handmade card business in 2018.

In 2020, when COVID-19 hit the world, I started writing - it seemed I had all these words in my head I needed to write down, words which then started to form phrases, which then formed affirmations.

I had not written words like this ever in my life, it was definitely something I was not expecting to find.

I continued to write down all the phrases (affirmations) and before long, I had written over 50.

It was at this time that I thought, I could write a book of affirmations and it went from there. I started to look up publishers to see what was involved. I was looking into finding an illustrator and working out if I could afford the costs to write my book.

It seemed I could, I found a publisher I was happy with, an illustrator who was to do my illustrations for me and I was nearly ready to submit my submission, I just needed to work out a cover for my book and a title.

This was not too difficult for me, as I continued to struggle with my reflection when I looked in the mirror - I knew it had to relate to it, I also knew many others who also struggled with it too.

It was then that the title “Reflection in the Mirror – You are Enough” was born.

I did struggle initially to work out what the front and back cover would be but then I realised, it had to relate to the title of my book, a girl looking in the mirror and a shining star as that was what the affirmation in my book was all about.

I found designing the back cover a little easier once I had worked out the front cover - it had to be the outline of the mirror with a description of why I chose the title of my book with more stars in the background.

We all need to feel like we are worthy and shine bright like a star.

Once I had all of these things in place, it was time to submit my book.

I did have a slight hiccup, my illustrator I chose fell through and I had to find another. I was very happy though when I found Sue, she was more aligning with what I wanted and her illustrations went so beautifully with my affirmations.

I found the process from when I started looking into publishers to the finished product a long process - it took around 18 months from when I made the enquiry to write a book to the end product of receiving my book in print. 

I still remember receiving the box at my door and excitedly opening the box to see the book that I had created and written.

I was so happy, it looked amazing.

I would never have believed that I would achieve this and be an author of a book.

It was more than I could ever have dreamed.

Can you share the defining moment or experience that inspired you to write your book; “Reflection in the Mirror – You are Enough”

I think the defining moment was when I started to write my affirmations and I could see how much they were helping me with my mindset, I knew I could help so many more going through the same things.

Many of the words in my affirmations for my book came from real life experiences that I had been through throughout my life. These words had come to me for a reason and I believe it was a way for me to help others, to speak out and have a voice, as well as a form of healing of myself from within.

How do you envision your book making a positive impact on readers’ mental health and wellbeing?

My affirmations are very powerful and if read on a daily or regular basis, they can truly turn your mindset from negative to positive. 

I know many people feel like they are not good enough, don’t like the way they look or see themselves in the mirror, they are not confident, have little self-esteem and sometimes are too scared to speak out and have an opinion. 

My book is a reminder always, to remember who you are, what you believe in, to believe in yourself and shine from within, to not let others drag you down or be mean, to chase your dreams and follow your path, to know you can have the life that you want to live.

I believe my book is making an impact by giving the person reading it, the power to shine like a star, to give them confidence to follow their goals and to chase their dreams in a positive way, to not be afraid to be themselves and to set boundaries for themselves so they can live a happier and healthier life. 

In what way have your own experiences, particularly overcoming challenges, influenced the affirmations included in your book?

Many of my own challenges definitely influenced the affirmations included in my book; I feel it has been a way for me to heal from all I have been through, to finally be able to share and speak out but in a positive way, not an angry or destructive way. 

I believe that writing affirmations that have come from my own personal experiences has given me a way to express myself by way of affirmations in combination with healing myself at the same time.

Can you speak to the role affirmations played in transforming your mindset and empowering you to speak out about your experience?

Affirmations have played an enormous role in transforming my mindset.

Before I realised what all of these words in my head were, I was reading a book called “Done with the Crying”, it was about many estranged mothers and their stories of coping with estranged children and how it impacted their lives. Inside this book were worksheets you could fill in and reflect on your own life of estrangement. 

As my now adult children had become estranged, I was a part of these stories of women and their estranged children.

Within this book, there were worksheets and I remember one of the worksheets I had to write some positive words down that I would always remember for myself. It did remind me of an affirmation and I now have had it framed in my office that I look at every day as well as others in my office I can turn to when needed.

Before affirmations, I often was a curled-up ball in the corner of the room, not being able to shake off the negativity that controlled my life; I constantly had a negative mindset.

After reading affirmations, it has turned my life around 100%, I am no longer in the corner as a curled-up ball, I am living a happier and healthier life and feeling positive. Yes those thoughts are still there but they don’t control my days.

Writing my affirmations was a way I have a voice and to speak out about my experiences but in a positive way and in a way that as well as helping myself, I can also help others too.

As you reflect on your journey from creating handmade cards to publishing a book, what advice would you give to aspiring authors or individuals facing challenges similar to you?

As I reflect upon my journey, I think about all the challenges I have overcome, all the things that I have achieved and the dreams I never even imagined were dreams.

I think about the person I used to be, the person that use to get walked all over, never spoke out and was bullied and controlled to the person I am today, confident, positive, believing in myself, chasing my dreams, doing things I never even dreamed of and living the life I want to live and being happy.

I did all of these things because I NEVER gave up, I kept on going, I kept believing in myself and that I could achieve anything, even when times were tough, I just had to keep going. 

Always remember to trust yourself, trust your instincts, speak up and speak out, don’t let others bully you or steer you off your path. 

You can achieve anything; all you have to do is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and always remember YOU ARE AMAZING!